The Big Muscle Boss

Lacking sufficient self-motivation at the gym, one has a tendency to stay within one's comfort zone. You know, not push too hard, make your muscles hurt too much, not do too many reps or sets. Especially if you're a slightly fat, overweight bear like me. Especially if ordinary Fitness Classes 5 times or so a week just seem to sap whatever energy one has, leaving little left for serious weight-training activity.

So that's why I hired a Muscle Boss Personal Trainer to force me to get back into free weights and do more sets and reps than my body wants to. Cuz I need that external motivation, I need a Drill Sergeant barking orders at me, I need disciplinary action. (Hell, I need ANY sort of action these days...) So, I've decided to let a Certified Fitness Trainer tell me what to do, how to do it, how many times to do it and when I can stop doing it. Cuz me - and my muscles need to be bossed around sometimes, ya know?

How To Train A Muscle Bear

As you can see in the above photo, Muscle Bears often require rigorous training and discipline - forced to bend over and perform unspeakable acts repeatedly - until they collapse into a grunting, hairy, muscular mass of sweaty exhaustion.

I actually know of the two men in the MuscleBear training photo. The Bear (who shall remain nameless) -  and his Personal Trainer 'Ted The Torturer' who's G-Force Fitness class I attend attend at Palm Springs World Gym 3 times a week. He makes me do unspeakable things with dumbbells over and over again until I'm a sweaty, hairy mass of grunting muscular exhaustion too. But there are no photos of that because I am still ten pounds overweight - and lack sufficient large muscle-mass development to be worth photographing... at this time.

Muscle Bear Mesomorphs vs Ectomorphic Stick-Boys and Blubber-Tubber Endomorphs

I'm starting to hate those beefy, burly hairy little 5' 8" LUGNUTS who happened to be born with Mesomorph genetics, thick bones, and a predisposition towards packing on muscle.

For two reasons really. One, because their weight-lifting effort at the gym actually pays off and delivers visible muscle mass results rather quickly. And Two, the large amounts of muscle tissue tends to attract other Muscle Bears and greatly reduces the odds of ever getting one to notice the Rest Of Us. And so it goes...

Big Muscle Bears - Big Muscular Brains

Bear Hunting Season again.

I have a liscense to hunt down furry big boys like this - nail their tails - then haul 'em off to the gym to buff up their husky bear bods.